The Maplewood Horror Picture Show

Sometimes people* ask me, "Frostbrand, why are you so mean to that poor little monkey, Erik Hjelle?"

First of all, he's not a monkey. Chumpelopithecus hjelle is of course a hominid, and there's just no need for insults like that. Besides, what did the monkeys ever do to you?

Second, we're really on Erik's side. You see, he told the Star Tribune that the problem with the old city council is that it "was boring." His goal is to drive boredom out of the city council chambers, and I for one stand** with him 100%.

We at What's Left of Maplewood recognize that Erik has an uphill battle, facing formidable obstacles such as Diana Longrie's apparent wish to introduce the filibuster to city hall. (She spent what, three or four hours reading in monotone from the city code on Monday night? At least it felt like that.) And his own very heavy eyelids.

One route to a reliably non-boring public performance is, we think, audience participation. Imagine the fun if on Monday night, after Longrie and Copeland explained how the judge went back in time to erase Copeland's crime and grand jury indictment from ever having occurred, everyone in the audience stood up and joined in dancing the Time Warp, just like The Rocky Horror Picture Show!*** (Since council meetings typically run so late, interested persons could even go directly to a midnight showing after adjournment.)

So think of this blog as our audience participation. I'd like to think that we're helping enliven our municipal dialogue -- encouraging people like Hjelle to stay awake and display a bit of activity (my, didn't he talk a lot more than usual on Monday? we're making progress!), and keep the folks at home watching this ongoing theater of the absurd, laughing, munching their popcorn, and occasionally throwing things at the TV screen.

*When I say "people," I mostly mean the voices in my head. They've also been suggesting that I should talk to the Dauphin about driving the English out of France, so I've learned to take everything they say with a grain of salt.
** Or, you know, hunch with him in a more or less upright pose with only minimal support from the knuckles.
*** Doesn't it just cast itself? Longrie as the (Juris) Doctor Frank-N-Furter, Copeland as Riff Raff, Cave as Magenta, Hjelle as Rocky, and Rossback/Juenemann as Brad and Janet, stumbling unhappily through this production...